


Habits

by Sweetnesse



Category: Jared Leto Joker, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Daddy Kink, Death, Depression, Drinking, Drug Use, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Habits, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by Music, Jared Leto - Freeform, Jared Leto Joker - Freeform, Joker - Freeform, Lies, Love, Not Really Character Death, Pain, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Recreational Drug Use, References to Depression, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sex Club, Sexual Content, Smoking, Smut, Songfic, Suicide Squad, The Joker - Freeform, Tove Lo - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 00:00:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17069699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetnesse/pseuds/Sweetnesse
Summary: He's gone and you have to stay high. You believe The Joker has been dead for a year, leading you to pick up all kinds of habits throughout that time. It isn't until you encounter an intriguing stranger at a sex club that you come to an infuriating realization...





	Habits

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt on Tumblr (harleyquinn-xox.tumblr.com) - _can you do one about the reader thinking that the joker dies and after a year she finds out he is still alive ? and can you base it off of the song habits (stay high) by Tove Lo_  
>  I hope you enjoy! <3

You’d grown accustomed to the striking of a match, followed by the scent of sulfur that stung your nostrils each time. A cigarette hung from between your lips as you lit it, promptly inhaling and tossing the match carelessly aside.

_Who cares if this whole place goes up in flames anyway?_

Water lapped at the edges of your bathtub as you sunk deeper into the bath and exhaled, tendrils of smoke drifting around your face as your fingers quickly worked at opening the stubborn plastic that wrapped around a Twinkie, finally tearing it open after a moment of battle. For just a second, you pulled the cigarette from your mouth and took a bite of the snack, lazily delighting in its sugary taste. Not much made you happy these days, and you were always looking for your next addiction. Twinkies were the flavor of the month when you could be bothered to eat.

The cool air summoned gooseflesh to rise on your skin as you stood from the tub, water cascading down your body. You pulled the drain and threw your cigarette into the water, stepping out onto a shaggy bath mat. Class wasn’t something you cared about anymore as you wrapped up in a dark purple towel. It was his whenever he decided to hang around. It was just another memory.

_Strike._

Another match, this one lighting up a blunt you’d rolled for yourself earlier. Vices were something of a subduer to you at this point. Some were after uppers, others after downers. You just needed the distraction, or your mind would take you down paths you just couldn’t let yourself walk anymore.

You stumbled into the kitchen to grab another bottle of vodka, taking a swig as though you weren’t continuing a month long bender; as though you hadn’t thrown up in the tub and fallen asleep on the bathroom floor the previous night.

Another toke from your blunt and you sat on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Your surroundings were a mess, riddled with underwear and clothing, objects and liquor bottles; _but why bother cleaning it?_

It had been months since the love of your life was tragically taken. The memory of The Joker’s last words to you bounced around in your head. You took another swig with your drug of choice hanging between two fingers, closing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose with your index finger and your thumb on your free hand.

You had to stay high what seemed like all your life since he’d been gone, just to keep him off of your mind. It never truly worked though. As you drifted off into a refreshed state of fucked up, you thought of his blood red smile, coupled with his shining metal grill. The way he so carelessly walked into a losing battle with Gotham’s Dark Knight.

_**Flashback** _

The entire city could be seen from what felt like miles above in a luxurious penthouse owned by none other than multi-billionaire Bruce Wayne. The sight was beautiful, but there was another reason we’d set up shop in such a strange place.

“Baby, hand daddy the brandy, will ya?”

You walked over to the wet bar against the wall, plucking an expensive bottle from a shelf and pouring it into a snifter without question.

“What are we here for anyway, J?” You started, looking around before making your way back in his direction. “Shouldn’t we be out having more fun? I’m bored…” You pouted, holding the glass out to him.

He took the brandy quickly, holding it out to look at the dark liquid that seemed to sit perfectly in the glasses confines.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he tutted. “You know better than to question me..”

You sighed, rolling your eyes just the way he loved to see you do. Before you had time respond, there was a sudden explosion within the penthouse.

The Jokers jaw clenched, the rest of his body following suit as he tensed each and every muscle under his open shirt one by one. His hand gripped around the snifter, shattering it into tiny pieces that crashed upon the floor.

“That damn bat!” He growled, his bloodied hand suddenly reaching to grasp the side of your face.

“Doll face,” he said, a large grin on his features. “I’m gonna need ya to say good night.”

“Good night?” You asked, utterly confused and slightly turned on by the madness in his eyes and the blood on your cheek.

He spoke not another word, instead he spun you around and wrapped his hand over your mouth. All that came next was chloroform and cotton candy dreams. He was never without his own form of a joke.

When you opened your eyes, you were back in your apartment, not in J’s manor. You assumed Batman had done his civic duty and brought you back to your place, scoffing at the thought of The Joker allowing him to do so. You picked up your cell phone and turned on the television, not exactly paying attention to it as you began to type out a text:

Back in my apartment? Very funny, J. You know I

The phone fell to the floor with a clatter as your ears caught wind of the latest headlining news.

“The Clown Prince of Crime reigns no longer over Gotham City. His body was found-“

That was all you needed to hear. That was all you could take hearing as you fell to the floor, clutching your chest with a shaky hand. You gasped for air, desperate for anything to make you feel whole as you felt tears flooding your eyes. Panic settled in as your entire body began to drift away from you; as your entire world came crashing down.

Your clown prince was no more.

Coming to terms with that never seemed to happen.

**_Present Day_ **

Your eyes drifted to the clock on the television. It was about noon, and you had your usual mundane routine. Bath, binging on twinkies, lighting up and drinking. It was time to hit up the park. It gave you a slight thrill to pick up daddies at the playground, loosen up their frowns- make them feel alive again. They seemed to be in the same spot you were, stuck in a rut, the fun part of their lives behind them. You slipped into your heels, (perfect midday park attire) and lit another cigarette, heading out to your usual spot.

Once you’d arrived, you slid your oversized shades over your eyes, not wanting to let the sun exacerbate the squinting and redness that already became you from the weed and alcohol.

Sad dad, straight ahead.

You plopped next to him on the bench, the scent of smoke overwhelming him as he cautiously looked up from his phone.

“Hi there,” you flirted, no reservations.

“Hello…?” he responded, slowly and clearly confused.

“Listen,” you started, already annoyed and impatient. “I don’t care what you’ve got going on at home. I’m numb and way too easy, let’s just get to it.”

A beat passed before the man shrugged and stood up, calling out to one of the obnoxious children on the playground that he’d be “right back.”

He led you to the car, unlocking it as you threw your cigarette aside. You were almost shocked at how easy it was to get him to go along so willingly, but then again, he was a familiar face. You’d seen him often, it was simply his turn.

In one swift movement you were being pushed up against the car, his lips meeting your neck before you felt him slip something like a key into your back pocket. You scoffed, rolling your eyes and pushing him away.

“Seriously?” You lifted a brow.

“The address is on the back. I’ll meet you there tonight.”

“Oh boy, wining and dining, what a treat,” you mocked, rolling your eyes again. “Listen, I’m already dead inside, I don’t need you to kill me in some shitty motel room.”

“It’s not a motel room, and I’m not going to kill you. Trust me,” he urged.

You sighed, completely turned off.

“Yeah, sure, famous last words. I can’t go home alone again, okay? I need someone to numb this fucking pain,” you stated before sighing and waving your hand. “Okay, fine. Whatever,” you muttered under your breath before leaving to your own car.

When you sat inside, you opened the passengers glove and pulled out a small bottle of vodka, taking a swig before laughing to yourself at what had just happened. If only J had seen that. He’d have put a bullet between his eyes for wasting my precious time. And trying to play with his property.

Pulling the key from your back pocket, you dangle it from a small ribbon and notice it’s black with red filigree. Your eyes narrow as you twirl it in your hand. You knew this key, you’d seen it a million times before, exchanging hands at The Joker’s old club. It was the key into the most exclusive sex club in town, and though you’d been making your rounds through every club you could to entertain yourself, this was one you hadn’t managed entry to. You slumped in the seat, closing your eyes for a moment before opening the glove compartment and pulling out a mini bottle of vodka. You took a swig before concealing it again and starting the car.

“I just might go,” you mumbled to yourself.

Large, intricate doors were opened for you before you even had a chance to knock. Two girls in costumes that resembled a macabre sort of Alice in Wonderland greeted you, running a hand along your shoulders as you stepped into the dimly lit manor. The only lights that were on burned dark red, flattering the smattering of people who were already getting frisky with each other just beyond a beaded curtain into a large living room.

Some people watched from the shadows, other people seemed to be couples, touching each other with a sensuality you hadn’t quite seen before. You pulled a glass of champagne off of a passing tray and downed it in one gulp, setting it back down and taking another to sip on. A topless woman wearing a bunny mask stepped around you, eyeing your physique as though you were a feast to be had.

“May I touch you?” She whispered in your ear.

“I’ll try anything,” you shrugged, your carelessness coming through even in such a highly regarded establishment.

She leaned in, placing one hand against your side and the other over your ribs. Her mouth met yours with a sweet, delicate lock that almost made you sick. You craved something rougher, more violent. For once, you politely returned her kiss and pulled away.

“Maybe later, sweet cheeks,” you forced a smile.

It wasn’t her fault. But the sex had been fast and greasy and anything less wasn’t your cup of tea anymore. It briefly crossed your mind that you felt as though you didn’t deserve something better or kinder. The girl winked and walked off, leaving you to find your own seat in the corner of the room.

You sunk into a plush leather chair, opposite a strange man in the next shadowed corner. There was no sign of the generous father you’d encountered earlier, and you suddenly felt like you’d been stood up for something you didn’t even want to do to begin with. Smoke rose into the air as the man in the corner puffed on a cigar, watching the scene before him too intently to notice anyone else around him. He was intriguing, mysterious, and his aura had you focusing more on what he might actually look like.

Eyeing the guests became more of a decoy as to what you were really doing. When he lifted his hand to puff on his cigar, your gaze shifted back toward him. Every subtle move he made had you curiouser and curiouser. Deciding to focus more as to why you were here, you watched like a voyeur as the people around you enjoyed themselves. When you popped a cigarette between your blood red lips, a pale, tattooed hand moved to light your cigarette for you, catching you completely off guard.

The flame licked the end of the cigarette, burning it to a crisp, but there was no breath to be caught from you. Am I seeing things? Mixing bubbly champagne and hard liquor might not have been the best idea, but causing hallucinations? What kind of club is this? It wasn't until you heard his voice, that you knew you weren’t imagining things.

“Hi, doll face.. Long time _no see_..”

You wanted to slap him as the cigarette fell from your lips. His hand snaked around your mouth, smearing your lipstick.

“Shhh… You don’t wanna ruin their _fun_!” He hissed happily, causing you to ignite even further with anger.

He took your hand, the familiar rough feeling giving you a sweet kind of release in and of itself. Everything in you was telling you to be mad as he pulled you into a private room just behind the living room. When he closed the door, you stood in silence.

There he was, The Joker, bathed under red light, looking better than ever. The cherry from his cigar fell as he smiled, his metal grill making you weak at the knees. Still, he’d left you to your own devices for a year, depressed and lonely, picking up habits like daisies along the way. You gritted your teeth and reeled your hand back, immediately throwing it into his jaw.

“How could you!” You shouted amongst the mood music that echoed from the other room. 

He laughed, blood dripping from his busted lip. 

“Do you even know what I’ve been doing this past year? Drinking, smoking.. Eating. Sex with _strangers_! Whatever I could find to distract myself! I had to stay high, just to keep you off my mind,” You ranted, watching the smile on his face grow tense as you recalled the drugs and booze; the sex and the food intake.

He snapped, pinning you back against the wall with all his might as he dug his fingers into your neck, the violence in his eyes raging like a stormy sea. You gasped for air, not expecting to be choked- so soon, anyway.

“You let _other people_ , touch what’s _mine_?”

The tingling between your thighs seemed to radiate through every nerve ending in your body, making it hard to remain so frustrated.

“You were dead. What was I supposed to do?” You spat the best you could under his grip, your confident glare holding his.

“Wrong answer, kitten…”

He leaned forward, his teeth digging into your neck next as though he were about to rip a chunk from your flesh. You couldn’t help the moan he elicited from you, a mixture of pain and pleasure as his hands roamed down every curve of your body.

“Oh.. I missed _this_ ,” he mumbled, pushing the hem of your skimpy dress up around your hips, revealing your lack of underwear to him. “And _this_ …”

His cold fingertips pressed against your clit, rubbing circles over it mercilessly as he watched your slack jawed expression.

“You missed daddy, didn’t you, baby girl?” He growled, his fingers sliding between your folds to get a better feel for how wet you were.

That was it. He had you over a barrel, and all you wanted at that point was for him to take advantage of you in that position. You missed him with every fiber of your being, craved him in ways you weren’t even sure were possible. There was no way you could deny him; not that he’d let you, anyway.

The blood that dripped from his mouth only accentuated his chiseled jawline. You squirmed under his fingers, the heat building in your core. You wanted all of him, all at once, fast and sloppy; rough and passionate.

“I did, daddy,” you whimpered, your hands reaching for either side of his face. “I really did.”

“I can tell… You’re _creaming_ yourself just for _me_ ,” he rasped, moving his hands away from you to push his pants down, revealing the thick shaft you always loved to ride. Suddenly, all you wanted to do was stay in and play pretend with him; pretend they nothing ever happened. That he didn’t just show up out of the blue after making you believe he’d been dead for an entire year. It didn’t matter anymore. Your one and only stood before you now. Explanations were moot.

You bit into your lower lip, his face tensing up again as his ice blue eyes studied your expression. His lips locked with yours before you had a chance to inhale, suffocating you with a lustful neediness you hadn’t felt in a long time. Your tongue swirled around his, delighting in the taste you’d been so long without. A soft moan escaped your throat as you got what you wanted. He tasted like blood and cigar smoke, and you wanted nothing more in that moment that to give yourself to him all over again. When he ended the kiss, he smirked, knowing full well what he’d done to you.

“Make it hurt,” was all you breathed as you shut your eyes before he hoisted you up and slammed you against the wall with a hard thud.

There was no need to tell him twice as he brought you down onto his cock, your wet walls enveloping him; sending a spike of pleasure throughout your entire body.

“Fuck,” you groaned, savoring the harsh pumping he began to do.

With every push into you, you felt yourself grow closer and closer. There was no need for the in-between foreplay as his teeth grazed your skin, biting into your clavicle and anywhere else he could reach destroy; but it kept you hot and bothered to the hilt as the sight of blood from where you’d hit him transferred onto your skin and smeared against his. Your nails dug into the fabric on his back, clawing at him as your breathing shifted from staggered to heavy. Everything he gave you, you felt ten fold as your warm pussy slid over his cock, the friction of your frames rubbing against each other taking you to the hilt with every deep thrust.

“I’ll show you who you belong to, princess,” he rasped under his breath. “And _warn_ everyone else.”

His grip on you was circulation cutting; the bruises that would be there tomorrow would be black as night, but there was no sweeter pain he could’ve inflicted as he continued to thrust into your dripping entrance. His grunting grew louder and louder as your plush walls pulsated around his length relentlessly. The euphoric sensation that had your voice shaky only became more and more intense as your hips began to meet his on their own.

Carnal instinct danced with desire and lapped at the fire that built in your loins, washing over you heavily with every stroke he made. The heat of your clit against his groin only intensified the sensation, making it delectably unbearable as you moaned out his name. His hand gripped onto your flesh, giving your ass a firm squeeze before slamming you back against the wall, pinning you there with no room to move, or even breathe. Your head connected with the wall over and over, only adding to your stretch to the finish line as you heard the wet sound of his hard cock stretching out your velvety walls.

The Jokers slender fingertips took firm hold of your clavicle, pressing his thumb into your skin until pain radiated through your shoulder as he held you against the wall, his pure rage, desire and stamina keeping him at the violent pace he thrusted into you with. Your legs wrapped around his body as you tipped over the edge further and further, your flesh becoming slightly damp at the sudden surge in activity.

It had been so long since you’d had exactly what you wanted. And it’d been just as long since The Joker got to play with his little doll. You were exactly what he liked, ready, willing and able to take his violence with a smile and a moan.

“Oh, J, _harder_..!” You begged, and he obeyed- the only time he would ever.

His hand reached for just a moment, connecting with the side of your face. A gruff smirk on his lips told you he was getting off on using you, just like he used to. All you could do was let yourself get lost in the moment, soak up every inch of his throbbing cock that you hadn’t had the pleasure of taking in such a long time. For once in what felt like a lifetime, you were complete again.

The sounds of his pleasure coming to a head were like music to your ears, bringing you closer to your own orgasm. He slid in and out of you with a vengeance, your pussy sore and full of a sizzling pleasure all at once as you cried out, groans turning to small cries of ecstasy, turning to louder cries of desperation to cum in the only way he knew how to make you.

His arms held you closer to his toned frame despite being against the wall, squeezing you with the possessiveness you’d been lacking for so long. His fingers dug into you even more as he grew closer to the end of his rope, uncaring of how it affected you. You asked for pain, blissful, wonderful pain, and he delivered it in a way you knew only he could.

“ _{Y/N}_..” He growled. “You still know how to drive me _crazy_ …”

Tears piqued your eyes as you heard him roar, animalistic in nature as he spilled inside of you, painting your walls. His rhythm was more frantic and less calculated as he indulged in the feeling of your pussy pulsing around his shaft. The insatiable mix of sensations sent you spiraling into your own wave of bliss, milking him entirely with your own release as you came on his cock harder than you ever had before.

Absence made everything grow fonder, apparently.

“Oh, daddy, fuck me like you _hate_ me…!” You cried, grasping at his shoulder blades with desperation as he continued to give rough thrusts into you, knocking a picture frame off of the wall and onto the floor beside you.

You hadn’t been fucked the way he fucked you in an entire year, and the heat of the moment laced with pent up lust for The Joker escalated every second of your climax. Arousal from the both of you gushed from your entrance, coating him once more as he pulled out. There was no other man on the face of the planet who could give you what you deserved.

Breathless was an understatement as he held you  up for a moment, secretly delighting in having his ride or die back at his side. When he set you down again, he tugged at your dress, pulling it back down to the top of your thighs before re-adjusting himself.

“Baby doll.. You are the _perfect_ plaything for me,” he purred closing the fly to his black pants and pinning you against the wall again, his palms pressed against the wall above either side of your head.

“Why did you fake your death?” You breathed as you began to feel the pain he’d caused physically, now emotionally too.

He scoffed, releasing you from his confines as he stepped backwards, his arms wide. He was visibly annoyed at your line of questioning, especially at that particular moment.

“You know better than to question me,” he stated, spreading his fingers before bring a hand to his forehead, the sudden frustration and anger in his voice reminding you how deep his insanity truly ran.

“But to fake it to _me_? _Me_? You know you can trust me,” you whined, still catching your breath.

“Me, me, me, me. That’s all you care about,” he teased.

When you opened your mouth to protest, he held a finger up to your lips, dragging it down them slowly with gritted teeth. His eyes pierced through you, and while you were just the slightest bit frightened, it was hard not to be enamored by him at the same time.

I can _trust_ you as far as I can _throw_ you, {Y/N},” he griped, slamming his hand into the wall beside you, causing you to jump.

A grin crossed his lips as he saw your reaction, the corner of his mouth twitching only slightly as he noticed your demeanor change into something more solemn. The whiplash was more than you could handle at the moment. You knew this was how he liked to play his games, but all you wanted was to know he cared, a least a little, that he left you.

“Do you _like_ being _alive_ , honey?” he asked slowly, his tone that of speaking to someone who might not understand what he was saying.

You lifted a brow, suddenly unsure of where this was going.

“Yes..”

“Then _trust me_ when I say it was for your own _good_ ,” he grunted, clearly not wanting to give up all of the information.

Still, it was enough for you. You decided long ago that even if he lied to you, as long as it was in your favor, you didn’t care. _It meant he had to care about me a little, didn’t it?_ A small grin placed itself on your features. Your life had been a black hole without him, but the moon finally peeked out from behind the clouds, illuminating your way in darkness. The love of your life was back, and there was nothing in the world that was going to stop the two of you now.


End file.
